※Originally published on note, October 28, 2022.
With the release of KAngel’s game, the legend of “the cutie-cutiest angel ever” is spreading fast. The game has already sold over 600,000 copies, and her Twitter account now has over 300,000 followers. Just tonight, I posted a single offhand complaint about playing Splatoon 3 with P, and it got nearly ten thousand likes.
When I ego-search *(vanity search) , I see people all over being soothed by KAngel’s cuteness, cheering her on. Of course, there are some creepy haters too... but whatever. I'm getting used to them.
Just kidding. I still hope they burn in hell.
Every time KAngel’s name gets bigger, I find myself wondering—who is “Ame,” really? Unlike the internet angel who brings joy to otaku all over the world, I'm just an ugly lump of flesh nobody asked for. Or maybe a dumping ground for the lust of filthy old men. Just “a young woman,” nothing more. The kind that’s only worth something for as long as she’s youthful and fresh. A stupid girl scared of fading value with age.
That’s probably how they see me.
People on the internet are always chasing “perfect idols.” In the past, religion used to ease the pain of the masses. Now it’s idols who help us forget our sadness. KAngel is one of those constructed idols, too. A tool, conveniently consumed by followers pretending to worship her.
Luckily, thanks to monetization features and ad systems, “faith” is now easily converted into money. The more an idol is consumed, the more they earn. Doesn’t that sound a little twisted? Faith and money exchanged as if they’re equivalent?
And then, when an idol makes a tiny mistake—shows even the slightest glimpse of unwanted humanity—people lose their minds. They rage, they shame, they push them to the edge. It’s like they can’t stand the idea that even idols are just flesh and blood.
That’s why they all hate “Ame.”
After all, the eternal angel they want doesn’t cut her wrists or overdose on pills. They want someone who smiles forever.
When I cry during a stream, they say I’m just trying to “farm donations.”
My emotions look like a money grab to them.
That’s terrifying.
If a god has a sudden mood swing, is it a sign of weak faith not to forgive them?
Isn’t it more faithful to accept that even gods have whims and waves of feeling?
Not that I could ever say that out loud.
They’d hate the idea of an idol having this much self-awareness.
How fragile their faith must be.
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