I got a A High School Otaku’s Very Relatable Adolescent Problem

※This is a repost of an article originally published on Nov 16, 2020.

One day, I received a DM like this from a high school student.

--------------------------------

So, I guess this is a “problem.”

I’m a high school student, but the self-proclaimed otaku

I meet at school are (to put it bluntly) insanely niwaka(casual fan),

and I just can’t get along with them at all.

Like, there’s this person who claims they’re a huge fan of the Baki series—especially Kaoru Hanayama

but when you talk to them, for some reason they’ve only read the third part,Hanma Baki.

Or someone who goes “I LOVE JoJo! I’m a HUGE fan!”

but they haven’t read a single volume of the manga.

Up to that point it’s still kind of cute, but then…

Someone says they love BLEACH,

and they weirdly have all the quotes and Zanpakutō names memorized,

but when I dig deeper, it turns out they only know BLEACH from the games.

Of course, compared to the countless other otaku in the world,

I’m definitely a niwaka in tons of areas myself.

There’s always someone above me,

and I think I understand how ugly it is to “take the high ground” and start flexing.

(In reality there are endless famous anime, manga, and novels I haven’t seen.

I’m not in any position to talk down to people like,

“Wait, you haven’t seen that? You don’t get it at all.”)

I’m absolutely not the type of person with some grand ideology like “we should exclude the casuals.”

I know they don’t mean any harm, so I don’t hate them intensely or anything.

"But here's the thing— I just don't click with them. And because I don't even hate them as people, I keep thinking, 'Why can't I just go along with it...? Things would be so much easier...' and that just makes me hate myself more."

The truth is, forcing myself to lower my conversation to their level feels genuinely painful,

because of that ugly otaku pride leaking out of me.

But at the same time, I’m like… being alone in class because of my own ugly self-consciousness also feels kind of pathetic.

What do you think about this dumb, adolescent problem?

(Sorry for the long message…)

--------------------------------

　The moment that DM hit my inbox, my entire body started trembling with joy. Beautiful. The endless loop of self-consciousness and self-awareness, the suffering, and the helplessness of being unable to fully escape the terrarium society called “school.” Pure adolescence. I’m jealous.

　I know full well that the adult lines like “I was like that when I was young too” and “You remind me of myself back then” are nothing but annoying—but even so, this was such a perfect piece of writing that I couldn’t help thinking, This is exactly me in middle and high school… How adorable.

　I think I’ve written about this before, but one of my traumas from middle school is watching one of the class otaku get obsessed with JoJo because of the internet, and then start preaching nonstop to the boys like, “JoJo is way better—read JoJo instead of shallow stuff like One Piece or Dragon Ball.” It was… a lot.

　And the feelings I had back then are probably the same complicated feelings this high schooler has every day now. That classic adolescent “everyone around me looks stupid,” except in otaku form: “everyone around me isn’t even a real otaku, and on top of that they look painfully cringey.”

　Honestly, I’d bet the person who wrote this has read everything they listed—Baki, JoJo, BLEACH—and probably Berserk, HUNTER×HUNTER, and Kaiji too. If those references don’t land, the internet instantly becomes half as fun. They’ve probably reread them more times than their textbooks. I can even see them liking Shigurui and Cromartie High School. When you see grown-ups online talking like they’re having the time of their lives about certain manga, you start wanting to “cover” all of them—and then you get frustrated with people your age who can’t keep up. I get it.

　Me, I gave up pretty early on finding “dense” otaku friends inside the narrow world of school life. The moment I turned 18, I started doing things online and gathered friends with similar tastes there. Being able to watch anime together, read manga together—that kind of life was so fun we even did a room share.

　Right now, you might feel cramped because you can’t get away from school or your family yet. But if you’ve got that hunger for knowledge—and you’ve still got enough social sense to try to match people around you—then when you step out onto a bigger stage, you will be rewarded. Hang on a little longer.

　or me, the starting point of writing and being active online was basically this: I had nowhere to pour that frustration—the feeling of “I’m the one who can talk about bishoujo games the most!”—so I threw it into my blog and started explaining things like I was some kind of expert. Before I knew it, I was getting paid for writing and otaku talk.

　If you can grow into adulthood without letting that heat die out… you can become that kind of person too. I promise.

　When I replied with basically that in a concise form, they sent a flood of gratitude—and then closed it with a JoJo reference:

“Thanks a lot ! That's the only word I can think of... No other words come to mind!!!”

　I hope someday you find a friend who instantly gets Steel Ball Run references the moment you drop them. I’m sincerely rooting for you. Read lots of manga, watch lots of anime. The detour was the best shortcut. The short cut was to choose the long way round.