※This is a repost of an article originally published over five years ago.
Heeey everyone!! How’s it going?!
Today, I’m going to talk about that legendary classic that everyone knows the title of, but somehow nobody knows what’s actually inside…
“Miko Miko Nurse.”
If you were born in Japan, you’ve 100% heard the famous song “Miko Miko Nurse” at least once. It’s basically one of the earliest “denpa” anthems. And even the mystery of who the singer really was got cleared up in 2013.
I love the song too, so I’ll still throw it on once in a while when nostalgia hits—
but then I suddenly stop and think, completely sober:
What even is “Miko Miko Nurse”?!
Why is a shrine maiden working as a nurse? Or is a nurse also a shrine maiden?
And if it’s called “miko miko nurse,” does that mean the miko part is stronger?
Nobody ever talks about the story, so the mystery only deepens…
So—today, by actually playing Miko Miko Nurse, we’re going to properly enjoy the charm of this heroine concept that fuses “miko” and “nurse.”
And get this: Miko Miko Nurse isn’t just fully voiced for the heroines—
even the protagonist is fully voiced.
He even talks during monologues.
Gokuraku Hospital.
Which means even something like “Gokuraku Hospital” gets read out loud in a man’s voice. Every click produces an actual spoken line. It’s kind of refreshing.
Also, honestly? It’s loud.
“Gokuraku Hospital” is such an outrageous name that I assumed it was pure nonsense…
but then the game explains it was established in preparation for the coming aging society, focusing heavily on elderly care, and is apparently gaining worldwide attention.
Somehow, it’s more socially-conscious than I expected.
And then, right as trainee doctor Tatsuya starts going,
“If this were a school, a heroine would crash into me right about now…”
A nurse in a shrine maiden outfit slams into him.
There she is—Miko Miko Nurse herself.
The outfit is so wild that even the protagonist panics:
“A-are you… with this hospital…?”
And then a sister shows up.
She’s dead serious, scolding them—while dressed like something straight out of a themed club.
The two of them rush off somewhere.
So many unexpected things happen in a row that the protagonist’s brain seems to short-circuit…
I finally ran into a normal nurse for once.
…and he starts recognizing that outfit as “a normal nurse.”
In a world this insane, it seems he’s chosen the path of becoming insane himself.
I know it’s your first day, so I’ll cut you some slack—but try to pull yourself together, okay?
The heroines in this game are basically always on edge—they get angry over the tiniest things.
But weirdly, it feels real in a way, like “yeah… a hospital would be stressful.”
Um—I'm Futaba Mikoshiba. I started working as a nurse this year. It’s nice to meet you, too.
After things settle down, she introduces herself properly.
She calls herself a nurse—and here’s the best part:
Even though the title goes “miko miko” twice like it’s the main theme, the “miko” element is basically…
only the outfit. That’s it.
There’s no elegant “blend” like Nurse Witch Komugi, where the two concepts are cleverly fused. None of that balanced synergy. Zero.
So why is she dressed like a shrine maiden?
Behold—my very own design: the Miko Nurse outfit!
Because of the hospital director’s taste.
The director is literally nicknamed “Baldy” (yes, that’s what they call him), and it’s his personal hobby.
That’s the reason.
The sister outfit is also “just because.”
They throw in a token line like, “The very presence of a shrine maiden brings a refreshing breeze,” but…
a nurse wearing a shrine maiden costume is not automatically a shrine maiden.
To this deeply stupid explanation, the protagonist fires back a surprisingly reasonable jab:
“Isn’t that hakama skirt way too short to call this ‘miko’?”
Honestly, decent sense.
And it doesn’t stop there.
Besides “nurse,” “miko,” and “sister,” the game also introduces a heroine who is:
green-haired / Chinese dress / glasses girl / big-sister type / nurse.
They just stack traits like toppings.
At some point you have to ask: is ‘more’ really better?
Personally, the cutest character to me is this silver-haired loli maid—the kind of textbook “she’ll definitely be popular” design.
But you can’t romance her.
A compelling, non-romanceable heroine… truly the era.
Fit this into the unit and you’ll get a roughly 30% performance increase.
A sudden Gundam parody pops up too, which is peak “you can feel the time period.”
Why did I ever decide to become a nurse…?
So you spend your days in a chaotic hospital rom-com with these very loud heroines, and then their individual routes start tackling serious medical issues and the darker side of healthcare…
…all while they’re still dressed like this.
Before you wonder, “Why did she decide to become a nurse?”
you should probably first confront the bigger question:
Why is she doing nursing work in cosplay?
Eek—s-sorry…
If you’ve got time to apologize, you’ve got time to figure out how to stop making mistakes!
Y-yes… but…
By the late game, even the way the nurses snap and simmer starts feeling disturbingly realistic.
And then you realize:
Maybe the thing that would get “worldwide attention” isn’t elderly care at all—
it’s this outfit.
But this game doesn’t contain anyone with that level of common sense.
So, in conclusion:
Despite the title, Miko Miko Nurse is about
10% miko and 90% nurse.
I want to keep playing more “legendary” classic games like this.
Bye.
(Also, apparently you can listen to the full version of the song on the CD listed below.)
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